I wouldn’t have believed me either, 9 years ago. That was before I realized that for most of my life, I had been telling myself stories about food, exercise, and healthy living.  Stories that I had adopted into my ‘truth’ from an early age. Stories about my body, what I was capable of and what I deserved.  These were stories that were so ingrained, I had never even thought to question them.

 

Let’s start at the beginning.

 

The first time I remember being aware of my body, I was likely 8 or 9.  We were on a family holiday and someone close to me told me that “two piece” bathing suits were “not for my body type.” In that instant, that became a fact, a part of my story. I couldn’t wear the bathing suit because of my body. All of a sudden I was aware of different body types and I began to judge my peers through a lens of comparison.

 

As I got older, I tried everything to change how I looked.  I would get up early to do a 20 min workout and then reward my hard work with a big bowl of spaghetti.  I developed a pattern of work hard, reward big (often bigger than the workout.) For years I fluctuated between embracing a bikini, to hiding in a one piece- and back again.

 

But EVERYTHING changed when I became a parent 9 years ago. I remember how in that sacred moment when I met each of my girls, I marvelled at how perfect they were and vowed to myself that I would remind them of that EVERY SINGLE DAY.

 

And in that moment, there was an “aha” for me too.  If I truly believed that they were perfect as they were, I had to believe that I too was perfect, “bikini body” or not. Something deep inside me ignited.

 

At first I focused on weight loss, but what I uncovered in the process went much deeper than that. I realized that I didn’t believe that I deserved lasting results, or that I would ever find peace with being a ‘food lover’, or that I could actually learn to LOVE working out.

 

After stripping away layers and layers of stories, it occurred to me that I was not alone. That if I felt this way in my body, there must be hundreds, maybe even thousands of women out there who feel the same.

 

My confirmation came in the form of this verse from the Bible, which popped out and struck me like a suckerpunch to the soul:

 

1Peter3-4  Your beauty should not come from outward adornment, such as braided hair and the wearing of gold jewelry and fine clothes.  Instead, it should be that of your inner self, the unfading beauty of a gentle, and quiet spirit, which is of great worth in God’s sight.

 

Today I am proud be carrying out my soul’s mission; to empower women to feel at home in their bodies through motivation, movement and mindset.  My hope is that this mission will create freedom for you, your daughters, and your daughter’s daughters.

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